TS

how difficult to maintain, how difficult to fully express one's feelings, how difficult to trust the person completely, trusting that she would understand.
I felt super stressed yesterday, not sure why. Its just that everything appears to be going well, but not my heart. It felt burdened. as usual, I took my notes and head off to bed. feeling really restless, I dunno what to do. It was then I realised how long haven I been reading the bible and how long haven I been praying for people, as now that I was too cropped up with studies, or have I?
Light of the world, how difficult to shine when everyone's shining. yet, the dark seems so dark that you can actually shine easily. I guess only Christ has that ability, not me.
next morning, I took a different bus route to school. I woke up early just to make sure I won't be late. I love the 5, 171 bus route cause there would be hardly any njcians. I don't exactly know the reason as to why I like it, but I just appreciate the space and time for myself and God. I set off, with God in mind, but I failed. I turned to something so insignificant and my whole mind, the whole time was just all about it. even while I was doing both papers today, it didn't fail to stay in my head the entire period. I will find some ways to get it over, somehow.
on bus 5, there was this little girl, about age of 6, who is being accompanied by her grandpa on her way to school. she so innocently, counted the number of people who board the bus, loudly. looking at her, I recalled back the previous night about what my aunt told me about how adorable the girls in my family look when they were young. This made me miss my cousins in aus so so so much..especially andrea. this lovely angelic cousin of mine is always so sweet. now that she has done our family proud cause she's won some really awesome award so she'll be representing western aus to compete in Brisbane! so proud of her!! haven seen them for real long, and I really wanna hold them in my arms before they grow up. no turning back time is really a bad thing. same goes for age, you just cannot be younger. oh well, thats something we would have to adapt and live with.

lengshan; you're not sorry