last day of may is a sunday!

great what a day.
honeypi came and nice talk with her. and what weird demonic stuff we have, but russell still the ultimate one, despite joanne's rainbow wallet and my awesomely cute bag. :) was totally so restless during service, was deciding which one to go, study or global prayer.. didn't know what to do until grace helped me greatly and so i went to study. oh street e was.. fun yes, but thats not the main point cause this time it felt so different. phui and i shared to this guy and his response really shocked me. throughout the conversation, he kept looking down, definitely not interested but since he was waiting for the bus so might as well listen to us.. then when we invited him to come to church this sunday, his eyes like suddenly brighten and immediately asked "where?". we both were shocked at his response. initially when we walked up to him, it somehow felt that he was too scary to approach but we just went and i thank God we did, knowing that after that experience, everyone no matter how scary deserves to hear what an amazing thing we have to share! =)

oh and today i was really happy cause i saw loser #1! so unexpectedly! it was then then i knew that she stayed near me.. so cool! i love playing the "loser bang" with her! awww.. i missed dance.......NJID rocks!
so late tmr have chinese As and i am still blogging.. thats bad.. i really need God's grace tmr cause the nj km is down when i seriously needed it.. =(

lengshan; different

that form of reassurance

revival service really gave me a new light to things, and definitely the way God works. This year's revival service, I wanted to be revived. last year, as a leader I know that I should be praying for the girls which well I did. But this year, many things have been happening so I seriously think I needed a form of reassurance from God. So I focus on God this time and not the people around me, including my girls. I tried and I tried to focus on God, having in mind that if I myself is not revived, how can i pray for people. but I have no idea why during that worship I was so distracted, simply couldn't concentrate at all.. just then, my girl standing beside me fall onto her knees. my mind was telling me to keep focusing on God and helping myself to find that reassurance that I wanted. but my heart kept looking down at her and urging me to pray for her. still, I had that thought that I need to focus on God first before I start praying for her. I struggled so hard that I finally couldn't take it and I asked God what am I suppose to do.. I stood there quiet and listened of which then He spoke. of course it wasn't the answer that I wanted but I just ying zhe tou pi and do it. I seriously have no idea what God has planned or wanted, but I just knew that in the midst of me praying for her, she didn't cried but I did. and I finally understand what God had wanted me to do. after that I just went down, so touched by the Holy Spirit. I have found that reassurance that God had planned, just that I didn't listen to Him initially. I felt peaceful after that and it really shook my heart. Thank God! =) I never knew that the Holy Spirit can speak through even praying for people, or I guess even anything. I just have to listen.

lengshan; reassured ><

it died with a glimpse of hope

geo lecture was one of the best despite the "weather" conditions haha..cause at least, its not thunderstorm whereby she would picked on us..thank God for the hot humid weather instead. next was maths lecture, and one of my fav teacher lectured us. I just realised that he cannot really lecture, haha cause he goes really fast. oh but this lecture was quite fulfilling cause the time went super fast too and amazingly, i endured a 3 hour math lecture not only without falling asleep but also wanted more after the time was up! how about that! HAHA i slept in the library then cause there's no chem lesson. then i went for dance which was okay.. nothing special. oh actually have..we played animal concentration as a dance group and it made me remembered yltc when we played animal concentration too.. miss those ppl so much! :*) and playing the bang bang game with loser #1 is really exciting cause she caught the game super fast and soon she was at my level already! but she's still loser #1. haha!

today is really memorable cause it marks the end of my phone's journey....... the last song that i heard was worship You alone.. after numerous tries of reviving it, i knew it didn't respond.. okay i sounded quite emo here. oh well, its an important date for my dearest phone. the last call i received was from ah ma h which has the highest record in my missed call list haha.. and the last message was really interesting as it comes from an unexpected person, phoebe. haha she mass sent everyone about her blog and I realised that her url was so familiar.. soon after quite some time, i realised it was so similar to my previous one.. cool.. this "secone" girl is really cute.. :) anyway i changed phone, back to the one my daddy gave me. Its so national day cause its red and white. once, i was wearing nj pe shirt and shorts which is red and white, carrying my red and white op bag with that phone in my hand and I was walking down orchard road. I felt alot of people staring at me. just then, i realised how interesting i look, probably i should just stick a singapore flag on my bag and i would look perfect.. hahahaha what an amazing experience! :)

oh well, tmr i suppose and i hope there would be no school.. =) ya wishful thinking, still have to mug.. oh but I am starting to endure my morning travelling experience. with a prayer list in my hands, i was too tired and didn't wanna follow that routine so with only two of them in mind, I prayed that the Lord will take care of my two girls whom one is my primary school best friend while the other is my girl and really praying hard that she will one day open her heart, to the cell and to me too.. sometimes i feel like I'm quite useless as a cm.. but I know that as long as I try my best to follow God's instructions, I'll be cool.. yay praise and give thanks to the Lord always! =)

lengshan; miss her phone =(

focus on God's purpose

went out for breakfast with mummi and it was really cool cause we actually drank fruit juice first before we eat our food. haha being with mummi really encourages me to go healthy so thats good. :) walking around chinatown, the things that were sold there were like ying you jin you though they aren't very nice..oh and i bought something for my friend whose birthday is next month, how fast of me. oh and while we were travelling, i practised my chinese oral by relating my experience in working at jurong birdpark to her in chinese. wah its really difficult and i really stutter alot and had alot of blanks cause i dunno how to say this and that in chinese. i really need to brush up.. if not i would just kiss my aim goodbye..just love being with mummy, she's the best and cutest mummy in the whole wide world..!

there's saltshakers cell at night at aaron place and believe it, i reach at 8.45. I knew i would take that long, but i have no idea why i just went. I just felt this urge to go and I'm glad i went. Today Ivan taught the lesson, and ironically he didn't. cause dont have alot of connection to Daniel. haha
looking at the purpose of our suffering, taking joy in it, and not asking "why is this happening to me, God?" are what i had learnt. God has the liberty to do anything with our lives, but yet He all did it with a purpose, a purpose for us to grow, a purpose in mind that actually we have the abillity to overcome it thats why God placed us in such tough situations. Its really difficult to give thanks when we are bombarded with all the worse and as if we are in the most unfortunate event ever. But i guess we will all have to lay everything down, seek God's purpose for us with understanding, letting Him have the Lordship of our lives, taking that leap of faith and follow His ways. Everytime we would ask God to take over our lives and be the Lord of our lives, but only words do not do, lets act it out. We shall let Him take charge of our sufferings and the following steps that we decide to take. its really an awesome cell, where I really gained input, after all the output that we have given to our kids, lets continue to shine for God! really thankful that He gave everyone of us everyone of us and always have this opportunity to learn and gained support from one another!

lengshan; a saltshaker ><

do not be afraid :D

God says.. "do not be afraid" and this didn't only appear once in the His word. It appears 365x (maths), three hundred and sixty five times (general paper), san bai liu shi wu ci (hua yu), 13 "nic" +1=365 (chemistry), $365 (economics), the earth has 365 days to make a revolve around the sun (geography). see, God made sure every subject that you take has 365 reasons not to be afraid, everyday of your life :D

P.S i think the chem and econs part are quite lousy.. hehe sry couldn't think of any but just so you know that God is always with you! :D

sweet tweety!

i just realise this connection between dance and me, the challenges of it i am pretty willing to bear. the joy after i had conquered it stays. oh i am so happy that you bled cause you are one of the few i have given my cute and precious plaster to.. so willing and glad.. ><

lengshan; only your passerby

where we truly belong

where we belong =)

There is no height or depth
Neither life nor death
That can take me from all that I find
Here now in Your Glory Lord

No other powers or love
The things of now or to come
There's nothing on earth in this life
That could ever separate us Lord

Your Love is never ending
To your hands we surrender
Where all our sins are washed away
Your Grace beyond reason
Has paid for our freedom
We're made alive in You

We run to Your Throne
Where we belong
Every heart will sing
That Jesus is Lord
Casting all else aside
For the joy of our Christ
Let Your Glory fall
Our hearts are filled with Your Fire

another 6 more months..

i really hated her lesson. i have no idea when this personal attack thing started and dont wish to remember it either. she totally despises me and keep criticising me. i have absolutely no clue why is she doing this to me. she wants everyone to do well this of cause i can understand. i really tried my very best to work hard, study and read her notes. when i dont read her notes she would scold me. even if i read her notes she would scold me!! i really dunno what she wants from me.. everytime when i go for her lesson i would bring a heart that is so nervous, tensed up, pressured.. even if its other people 's fault, she would link it to me and start to embarrass me in front of the whole class again.. i tried to ask her for help, knowing that i dont have a choice if not she would just keep complaining why i didn't see her for consultation.. with her attitude towards us i really dont understand why she can be a teacher in the first place.. she doesn't even care about us and would embarrass us in front of everyone.. she would personally attacked us, calling us stupid.. its not like its my fault that i am stupid.. knowing that i am weak, i really tried but she would always say "thats what i said, thats why i said".. she thought that we students are leading such comfortable lives and that she has the worse life. she keep complaining to us that "your students dunno what the teachers are facing, we will have do this and prepare that for your and yet your are not helping us" but in the first place, when we helped you, you were not appreciative at all.. its only when we didn't helped you then you start to complain. every single lesson she would harbour on the fact that i was an appeal student and that she would never ever want to accept anymore appeals. i was so hurt when she said that cause i was thought of revathy who is in id and in her class too.. rev is also facing difficulties in her that subject and i really dont wish her to face the same situation as i am in.. today i had dance and she came.. my anger fear and everything just keep rushing into my mind.. i was again reminded that i shouldn't be feeling this way.. and treating her this way.. but every minute in her class or just beside her, i would feel like i am very inferior.. its so difficult to love her.. i always wonder why can't she be like other teachers who scold us because they cared. but for her case, it is totally different.. it was as if she was venting all her frustrations on me because i was very bad at her subject.. its not as if i didn't work hard at all or i was rebellious or rude to her.. i did all her homework and i didn't even do anything wrong! she always jump to conclusions, accusing me and refusing to hear what we have to say and want everything to be done at lightning speed. i almost cried during her class this week, but knowing that God is with me, i held back my tears, reminding myself that He will pull me through.. i know He will..

this test is really difficult to bear.. but i know that i would have to submit to the authorities placed above me.. knowing that i have 6 more months to endure this teacher, i really need God's grace and His tolerance to be instill in me.. i just pray that for the next two intense weeks of seeing her.. i wouldn't break down in front of her.. i wanna let her know that i am capable to handle this and would stand strong. really thank God for vivien who would comfort me not with her words but just with how she respond.. knowing that i was really hurt by this teacher.. thks vien.. =) class without her silent support, it would be more unbearable..

lengshan; i WILL pull through

more than a mother's day

today was such a memorable day!! its worth celebrating not only because its mother's day but also i had a real deep insight with ya too.. the best friend that God has so generously blessed me with.

ya asked me to print some stuff and pass it to her on sunday morning 9 and i said i would, but today i woke up at 9.24! after i woke up i immediately grab all my stuff and just chiong all the way to church without even going to the toilet.. then on the way i just kept calling her but she didn't answer..i was very frightened so i called estelle and realised that the mass teaching had started! i raced up to the room and passed it to her.. i was like about to faint already.. but still living.. haha then i had two choices: accompany elo to cc or going tanglin mall mug.. i smsed elo and she told me that she had no cc, so i am left with tanglin mall.. but then it looked like its going to rain and i didn't bring umbrella so i couldn't go out.. just then, i heard the sounds coming from the adult service and immediately i thought,"eh why didn't i think of going for service?". But as i walked in, i felt assured that the Lord wants me to go for service which eventually its enriching for me.. really thank God for elo's not going for cc today, the rain as well as the not letting me go. its okay cause the sermon was really good, which talks about the two types of redemptive work the Lord has given in the old testament. =)

Next was youth service and i sat with sickening ah gong, thats what i wrote on my book.. haha no offense ah gong.. sitting and chatting with him is really enjoyable cause you can talk to him about anything under the sun and he will listen.. =) pastor sin giap is really funny today.. haha dunno why.. and that glass bottle somehow just feel like making itself known twice in today's service haha.. oh he said sth really cool.. when the devil reminds you of his past, you can remind him of his future which of cause its more impactful! haha oh and the last song before altar call was the potter's hand and i was immediately reminded of you fiona! seeing how God reminded me of you this way and had made me prayed for you amazes me.. praise the Lord for it.. =) thanks to rachael for praying for me, she's a really good rl.. always watching out for us, making sure that we are okay and she never forgets birthdays.. so sweet of her to remember...awww..><><

when i reached home shortly after, i had a pretty good time with my two lovely cousins, ee-en and annie! though we hardly see one another but we are almost like siblings, can joke and laugh at and with one another! haha..oh i love ee-en's white and brown bag.. and he said he would exchange with me for one day yay..... =) then soon, went to meet kor and huiping with mummy at bugis and we decided to have dinner at swensens..mummy and i wore the same shirt unknowingly.. so cool! while we were queuing.. many ppl behind went in front of us cause they had only 2 ppl..though we waited pretty long, but we've got the best seats which is at a very cosy corner! so nice.. we didn't really order alot but after we ate everything it was really filling.. haha the family bonding time is really memorable cause we just kept laughing at random stuff and since its mother's day, so the promotion package comes with a free family photo! all of us look so pretty! :) then we went shopping and i bought two giordano shirts! haha the icon-cheer you on which is already imprinted on my bag.. haha then we went cold storage shop for very long but in the end we didn't buy anything haha! but my brother and i had a mini demostration to huiping of how we fought when we were young and it was so cute and again, memorable.. thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful family.. =)

Then i talked to canath about some stuff, and honestly i quite scared to ask about some stuff.. but thank God it went well and my message was carried across in an unoffensive manner.. yay we are all siblings of the most awesome family with the most awesome Father, so we must always look out, support and correct one another in the name of His glory!

lengshan; will remember

test to a testimony

let me share this really encouraging testimony of someone i know who really grew so much within a short span of time. She's a friend of mine whom just recently became a christian. In the past i invited her but she told me that she would draw strength from the Lord knowing that He loves her and i was so touched by this reply of hers. It somehow made me guilty that i was taking things into my own hands instead of trusting the Lord to respect her decision which is "not now". Honestly, i really felt quite upset when she rejected me, though after that i feel that she had grew in the Lord if not she will not have replied that. Somehow God assured me that i shouldn't end here. Yet, due to the fact that i was busy and it slipped my mind, i didn't asked her anymore, though at times she would be in my prayer. Not that it didn't bother me, its just that i kinda lose a little faith. Then, soon she came to ask me if she could come, and i was shocked beyond max. At that moment, i just kept thanking God for not giving up on her. I keep praising the Lord at night, but at the same time the Lord reminded me that i was wrong to have not persevere. So she came and she had a wonderful experience with God, we both knew she had. Praise the Lord! =) i did follow-up with her next week, but she told me that she was busy with exams.. I felt really really sad cause i dont wish to lose this great sister who has just came into this most amazing family. After that, we never talked and i too didn't have the courage to ask her again. its been about almost 2 months from now. It seems like we've returned back to our lives. oh well..that was what i thought. I thought she had put studies before the Lord.

But tonight, i thought wrong, and i was glad that i was wrong.. she had this really major situation that she is in and it is a matter of life and death. It was really very terrorising for her. Everything in her life seems to be crumbling down. I guess all my small little worries add up also cannot compare to what she had suffered throughout these two months. If i were in her shoes, i think i wont treat the issue as courageously as she did. She must have been really stressed..then she revealed to me that that time when she came, it was because God had saved her and she had sincerely felt it. Because of this incident, i felt that she indeed became stronger, alot stronger and more dependent on God for she prayed every night even though she didn't attend church. She could felt God's presence every night as well, and that really awes me to see how much God is working in somebody else's life. And its because of this test that really convicted her never to give up on God who has been her helper, comforter, refuge and protector during this tough period. She has showed me that as long as you seek God, He will be there with you, no matter whether you are full or broken. She has also showed me that placing full trust in the Lord especially in crucial periods, is then saying "God, take over my life and be my Lord". This test is truly a testimony. I got inspired by her and definitely this strengthens my faith in God too. God truly works in mysterious yet amazing ways.. praise the almighty God who cannot be seen but He's always always there.

Praise the mysterious yet amazing God!

lengshan; more than just touched

let us not labour in vain

"if only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea." Isaiah 48:18

Sometimes we always try to do what we want, thinking that it must be good and righteous, well at least to others. However, we often forget that Someone has given His life for us, such that we must repay Him by offering our lives to Him. Also, we might tend to forget the fact that we should be working for our Creator since He is the one who has given us life, His breath of life. As we get too busy with our lives and with the people and events around us, God somehow is just left aside on the shelf. We have slog and studied so so so hard, not knowing the purpose of us doing that. We are living our lives way too fast that we didn't even have time to slow down and think of what God actually wants or had already planned out something for us. so because of our busy schedule, we would get weary easily and tired ourselves out for what purpose? before we decide to do anything, probably we should consult the One whom we are living for, Our Father, Our Creator, so that we won't be wasting our time and precious lives which are gifts from God. God says in His word that as long as we placed His interests in everything we do, we will not labour in vain. Without prayer and communication with God, nothing can work out. So let us work everything with God in mind, constantly asking and seeking God! =)

Praise the Lord for everything He has done!

lengshan; God in mind

do not love the world

1 John 2:15
Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.

how easy to love the world when we take pride in our achievements and possessions. achievements in exams, cca may satisfy you for the time being but it can never satisfy you forever. once you get too proud of these worldly things, you are getting too comfortable with where God has placed you. so dont get too overwhelmed with what you've had on earth but wait for what God can and has already offered to you, you just have to make a choice. when you get too happy with your life, come out of your comfort zone for God.
thank God for the trials and sufferings which has helped me to depend on Him more and more each day.. :)

lengshan; not loving the world

to mr hokkien friend-ss

haha i bet you dont need to wonder why i called you this name cause i guess you are the only one who is able to speak that better than me.. okay nvm.. though i was really "honoured" knowing that i can finally know.. but after you told me that your (okay i dunno what is that in hokkien) was almost one year old, i was like so boiling!!! arghhh!!! i feel so cheated! i guess if the "whole lot of us" know about this, they are just so going to kill you which i think what i WILL this sunday. you are so dead. but i am forgiving..i hope.. haha i just feel so obliged posting this man..

perhaps you shouldn't have told me cause i can hardly keep secrets so you must always remind me.. haha pi4 beet4 sealed =)

lengshan; shhh.. ><