tired of trying

i am falling
why do you think that your problems are always so big
why do you always think that you understands me or that i would tell you things first hand
you always get wrong with the things involving me
is studies really that important
you are the elite in your school
and i am probably the worse off in mine
i just cannot understand how is yours more tired more stressful
we have been friends for so long
and when others can tell why can't you
you dont even know where i poured my feelings to
you dont even ask
and this I am sure.

i realise as much as i wanted to let out my feelings, i can't, i can't continue talking like this about you. i tried hard to cover how i really feel and find ways to motivate you and make you at least a little happier. when i have succeeded, here you come telling me that you don't wish. i was so excited for it, but when you've said this this last minute, i feel so tired..tired of seeing you tired when i tried so hard.

but thank God for elv..she somehow always knew what was on my mind regardless of our age difference. i need not say anything and she is just always there to remind me things here and there.. thank God for her, this complementary base of me. even though she is a real bad comforter, but i love her effort and her sincerity. i love her dearly and i mean it.. i need to sort things out, asap.

lengshan; exhausted

i love my girls!

friday cell was splendid, it was so awesomely fun!! lesson wasn't uploaded so I didn't really know what to do. at first we were thinking of canceling cell but i wanna go for cell so I just went ahead, thinking of playing games, though had no idea what games to play. met tiffy first for a short study session before cell and shortly after feli came and joined us and then we went to cheers to eat bei bei mian! oh and I've also bought a packet of chips HAHA for origami purposes! so exciting! oh then tiffy suggested blind mice, what an old game.. haha cause the last time i played it was when I was in primary 3? haha and I kinda got phobia cause once I hit myself on the wall real hard. and tiffy led worship solo, so proud of her! after challenging them to do the finding bible names test we played blind mice! haha using beatrice's tight which was abit gross but we still wore. denise was our first blind mice and she's so super funny!!! she started crawling about the room aimlessly.. like totally in a lost.. SUPER FUNNY! haha this girl's action really gave us alot of laughter! i guess probably after 20 mins she finally caught tiffy. and this one is even more comical! tiffy was really fast as she swung her hands in the air, doing like the wave-like thing and it almost seemed like she knew where denise was and she kept chasing denise and denise just kept running! they both ran in circles!! HAHA gosh that was the funniest moment i have seen! HAHA i'm laughing like crazy even when typing now! haha its like one mice chasing another mice! then tiffy caught feli! and it was really funny cause in the end we ended the game because feli hit her head on the wall.. so poor thing.. hope she's alright! we were so noisy and loud that we actually disturbed the board meeting.. oops.. haha but indeed it was really really fun!! haha i guess old games are really memorable! oh and because of this we would be having games for every cell.. yeah this is just so awesome! and after the girls' exams we will be having a picnic after service! i just cannot wait!! this is the best cell we've ever had!! ") love my girls!

lengshan; shash girl ")

for that day

I was looking for something, yet, i was too hurt, so so so hurt, and it just can't be explain, i dunno why..sooner or later i would get numbed. I tried to smile and laugh as much as i can, but the opposite just keep flowing and i hate it. i really hope i could smile genuinely again, thats when hopefully this cringe in my heart would be totally gone..

lengshan; :'(

its 31st July 12 pm :D

i love the comment that my mummy gave
and i will continue to persevere on.. i would!
oh well, i try at least..

hey! i am glad you have reached there safely!
take care! :D

lengshan; honoured!