people you loved

throughout this mission trip and also the following days, so far until sat night, God has shown me something which is closed to my heart.

during the mission trip, i had a chance to work with kids and many things screwed up so everything failed. everything fall short of what i had expected. it was then i realise that God had started to show me his heart. but God didn't stop here.

from tues to fri, i have met my match. i guess i was too complacent about the gift i thought i had, but this friend of mine was just so different from the rest. i didn't know i would actually be like that, so interested to know and find out but yet, it may be just a dream. then today, its those little minor things that had made me felt God again.

elo and ya told me that its good that i found out today and this side. i was also quite amazed at the extent of how it had affected me, but i had seen it clear today and i thank God for showing this to me too. it isn't a bad thing but at least i realise that its not just what i wanted so i was errr..ok lah quite indifferent about it..

despite all the disappointment and hurts i've had from man, God still gave me awesome friends to be here for me..like elo, who i know that she always remembers the small small things and would text me to ask me how was it..my next prayer would be that God would gave me a memory to do likewise..for ya, i was thankful that she confronted the issue of informality to me and also, we both realise that we can be friends but never colleagues cause one is too "anything" while the other is too "perfectionist" haha..for honeypi, thanks for lending me things which no one would lend me, and tolerating my nonsense and my "urgency" HAHAHA and thanks for all the fun and retarded things we do together! :) for elvina, thanks for allowing me to know about your life and i think that itself is the most comforting thing that you have given me.. :) for denise, thanks for the plan or new year resolution that we share which made us closer! :) for tiffy, thanks for having the heart to care for shash and always asking about me and the friends around me.. :) for kenneth, thanks for understanding and taking the effort.. :) for joey, thanks for noticing and then following up via texting cause it really meant alot.. :) for jernine, thanks for being so weird and haha always hi-fiving me and R-U-O-K with me! :) for huiyi, thanks for caring especially when i didn't expect it.. :) for yixian, thanks for being so sensitive and always see things which people don't see cause i really felt appreciated.. :) for sonbry, thanks for the fun and laughter when working with you! :)

cannot help but thank God for revealing Himself to me and making me this way cause because of the minor things, i now then realise that i can understand how people feel..God indeed is always fair :)i understand that it is really painful when the people you loved so dearly did not love you back..

lengshan; match :)